"I would like to thank everyone for making the effort to attend today.
I would like to share my memories of Jay with you, as someone who is proud and privileged
to call him my brother.
My first memory of Jay is when I was 4 years old and I was on my bicycle, trying to chase
after him and trying to get him to wait for me. My legs were much shorter than his, and
my bicycle less powerful; those of you who have been cycling with him or ever attempted
the London to Brighton bike ride with him will know what I am talking about.
This continued throughout his life, where he went, others followed and this included me.
He was truly a leader of men and he lived his life to the full and was a benchmark for
everyone. The difference with Jay though was, where other leaders would make people feel
small and envious, Jay had this gift of making you feel special and included you in
whatever he was doing.
He saw something special in everyone. He sought out and found the funny side of everything.
He always managed to make life exciting. He was a very special and gifted person.
Jay never half did anything, he was a perfectionist in everything he did, and he always
'bought the manual!'
When he died we all imagined that he got the 'best deal'. When he was alive, he would
often spend Saturday evening trying to find out where the party was. When he got there,
there would usually be a long queue of disappointed people waiting to get in. Jay would
push to the front and get in to the party with no trouble. I was usually held back with
the others, but Jay never forgot me, he would always come back and say "and my brother!"
I imagine that wherever he is now, he was let in without any trouble at all, and he is
probably standing at the door greeting others as they come. It is comforting for me to
know that when my time comes, I know that when I present myself at the door, he will make
sure that I get in.
When I first came to England from Nigeria, I remember greeting my brother in the African'
way, this was by prostrating myself in front of him on the ground, flat like a press up. I
addressed him as "egbon" which means elder brother. This was meant to show my respect
for him. However this did not have the desired effect, due to us being in the middle of
Worthing and in front of all the neighbours. He just said, "quick, get up", and then he hugged
me.
He was my brother and he has done a lot for me, so much more than I could ever mention
today. He was my shoulder to cry on, he was my teacher and my protector.
Jay was young at heart. He always seemed to be surrounded by young people and this kept
him young. People were drawn to him.
The main thing about Jay was that he was fun! He touched everyone he came into contact
with. He was hardworking, and his motto was "Work hard, play hard". He was honest and
you could trust him with your life. He was very loyal.
We often talked about taking our sons out when they are old enough for their first pint and
frequently joked about how funny it would be to be old men of 70 still dancing in the
nightclubs.
Although his life was tragically short, he lived it to the full and made sure that he did not
waste a minute of it. He had a real zest for life. He achieved most of the things he wanted to
achieve in the short time he was alive. He always wanted a family and he got one that he was
very proud of. Tanya, Daniel and Portia were his life and I feel it is my duty to be there for
them and make sure the children know what a truly remarkable person their father really was.
I feel that Jay has been robbed of his life and that we have been robbed of his company.
Jay believed in me and seemed to know what I was capable of achieving in my life, even
though at the time I did not.
If I could have chosen a brother, knowing what a brother was, there was no one I would
have chosen but Jay. I feel very blessed to have had Jay as my brother".